Make fun of yourself

Yeah, you must be shit-bored to go onto a page like this. Hell, I'm half delusional from the concoction of cold medicine I've taken. That would partially explain this page. A better explanation would be an extended study on my precarious mental state.

Well, let the self-mutilation begin. Make it humerous as possible. I'll take the lead, because there's so much to make fun of me with.

Do not take this wiki seriously.

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[Dil*] to [Dil*]

me: Worthless piece of internet trash, don't you have anything better to do?
me2: Better than listening to the constant garbage spewing from the orifice you call a mouth.
me: How dare you insult me! You're the stupid asshole who got us into this university in the first place. UBC, what a joke!
me2: No, it was all your stupid fault, you and your fascination with japanese gardens and robotic arms!
me: Well, if you were more clever you wouldn't be bitching so much.
m2: Moron! You are clever, you just slack off too fucking much you lazy piece of shit!
me: It's not my fault you always set the standards so damned high!
me2: Well, they're manageable you avoider!
me: Yeah well...you can't get a date you loser!
me2: It's not my fault you're so ugly.
me: No, you definately make up the ugly part of me.
me2: You are me foolish mortal.
me: am not! Puny human.

[...yeah I've finally snapped...]

....well, if anyone is nutty enough to do this, go ahead. But I suggest counciling for anyone who does this.

session 2:

me: oh god..my butt is big
me2: that's cause' you sit on your ass all day, what the hell do you expect?
me: it's not my fault you're a lazy asshole.
me2: it's your fault too! you always blame me for everything!

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[Cliché] to [Cliché]

Me: My, my, what have we here? Another piece of internet garbage? Don't you have work to do?
Me2: Hey! I always get my work done, even if I have to kill myself to do it. Better that you, lazy cretin.
Me: Please, you know this is all your fault. You work so much you barely even see your friends.
Me2: What can I say? I'm a greedy bitch. I want money.
Me: Ah, but doesn't it hurt that none of them come to you with their problems anymore? They don't trust you.
Me2: Duh. I wouldn't either. 'Sides, it ain't like they can trust you either. Now why are you wasting time with this ridiculous repore? We have things to do, darling.
Me: Quite right, shall we?
Me2: We shall.

I agree with myself too much. I don't have time for internal conflict.

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[Fizban] to [Lostpast]

Me: Wow...okay, why are we here?
Me2: We, you mean you. Thats because your depressed because amber was mean and your too easily influenced by your friends.
Me: I am not...why do you think I got that Ethical humanist award bitch!
Me2: No hun, see I got that. You got shit. You are weak, and dumb. You sit around, stuffing me into a closet while you go and play...Video games What is wrong with you?
Me: You should know, your half of the problem.
Me2: No, I am the solution, you are naught but the strife of my existence.
Me: Oh shut up you wanna be scholar. You know imbalance propogates disease, mental, physical, and socially. Your the stupid guy that kept me awake endless number of nights thinking about that, and all that other bullshit.
Me2: You should be glad, I am the only thing that keeps you on your feet.
Me: And I am the only thing that keeps you on your ass.
Me2: Which hurts right now because you sit on it too much.
Me: Look at this, you should be doing my HW for me! Not arguing.
Me2: I would, but this is easier and more idiotic then HW, much more suiting to your liking. Why do you think you dragged me here with you.
Me: >_> *attacks*!!
Me2: *Trips* haha, your the loser. No one gives the physical ability to the loser.
Me: ... *bites!*
Me2: OUCH!! bastard!!
Me: And the loser also never gets the ego, to spout on about leaving himself open.
Me2: Look at you, your waiting for me to end this little talk with yourself, because your too dumb to think of some ending statement, so you continue the body.
Me: Took you long enough to realize...so, go on now, I don't wanna look like too much of an idiot.
Me2: >_># #<_< *throws down a smoke ball and runs away*
Me: that was so lame.
Me2: Shut up, it lets me conviniently stop posting now doesnt it.

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[kay-chan] numero uno (K1) and [kay-chan] numero... dos (K2)-IN THE IRON CAGE!

K2: We're in a cage! I feel like a birdy!
K1: Well, look what the cat dragged in, ate while chewing with its mouth open, shat out, then Chicago-steamrolled onto the chest of a hobo.
K2: Why must you give such depressing and possibly unsanitary visuals? God, this is just like you! Stop playing with innocent minds!
K1: Innocent minds? Please. Tell me again how nice you are-that’s always good for a laugh.
K2: Hey, I’m nice in the sense that I try to be open to everybody and not chew the heads off of people for being undereducated or ignorant or whatever. Being nice means you get your way more often. However, if I didn’t go off on some idiot every once in a while I’d be the crazy with the sawed-off shotgun walking through the halls going ‘POW POW’.
K1: But you can’t even go off on idiots correctly. You had some good insults which might have scarred him for life, but you withheld them.
K2: Less is more. Maybe you’d realize that if you didn’t always go off on tangents whenever you write and go all repetitive and… keep repeating shit and stuff.
K1: Aw, look who’s being hypocritical. It’s cute.
K2: It’s not hypocrisy to change your mind every once in a while. Now you… changing your CLOTHES every once in a while would be a good idea.
K1: I do, remember? We’re the ‘obsessed with personal hygiene’ people. Can’t go very long without washing hands. Would die rather than wear clothes again after we’ve removed them from our person.
K2: …yeah, I was just fishing for an insult.
K1: Like you fish for compliments?
K2: Noooooo.
K1: Yeah.
K2: No! Remember? We deflect compliments not with false modesty but backed by the feeling that whatever they complimented was the worst whatever in whatever! I trailed off because I stopped caring. There was doodles to be completed!
K1: …you are a horrible, horrible person.
K2: Yeah? Well, you’re a meany-poopy-head!
K1: Oh no you DIDN’T.
K2: Bite me! On my firm buttocks!
K1: Okay, but you might like it.
K2: …maybe.